Sonic Storm Adventures of Rango
by ScreamGirl4998
Summary: When Nancy ran away because of her nightmare and her mother's death, Sonic goes to Mexico to find her, but rans into a chameleon, but when bad cowboys decided to take over Dirt City, Sonic and his friends must stop them and find Nancy with the help of Rango.
1. Chapter 1

One Morning at the Base, Sonic founds a note while training

"Sonic, I don't have time to explain. But I'm running away from the Team Headquarters. Please don't follow. I don't want you to get hurt. Just stay in here. I'll be gone for 9 months, it's pretty long, I know. But I will return just in time. And when I do, I need to tell you something. So please, please don't get worried. I'll be fine. - Nancy"

Sonic: ...

In June's room

June: Worst, pet ever.

Thomas: (Came in) Hey, June. What's up?

June: It's my stupid pet. He won't do anything.

Thomas: Your pet? Is he a dog? Is he a cat? Is he-

June: He's a lizard.

Thomas: A lizard?

June: Yep. Daddy give him to me on my 9th birthday. He bores me to death. He never flips, he never eats. All he does is act.

Thomas: Your lizard can talk?

June: Yes.

Thomas: Hm. What's his name?

June: I don't know. It's hard to name a lizard who acts.

Thomas: Does he have any friends?

June: No. The only friends he has are a toy fish, a plastic tree a broken doll and a dead flea.

Thomas: What's his doing now?

June: Starting a knight play. Look.

Thomas goes to June's pet's bowl

June's Pet: Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension. Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. (Girl voice) "It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love." (Normal voice) She reaches for the poisoned chalice. Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne while her aging father lies gravely ill. (Sick voice) "Yes, I am gravely ill." (Knight voice) "Hark, who goes there?" (Normal voice) 'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! The sting of my...

The dead flea just floats on water

June's Pet: Dr. Marx? Dr. Marx, I'm not getting anything from you. People, we've talked about this. Acting is reacting. Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. Mr. Timms? You were good. Perhaps a little too good. What's that, Victor? My character's underfined? That's absurd. I know who I am. I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. Every story needs a hero. I mean, who else is better qualified to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions?

There was silence in the bowl

June: See what I mean?

Thomas: Is the dead flea really name Dr. Marx?

June: No.

Thomas: What about the plastic tree? Is it's name Victor?

June: No.

Thomas: How about the toy fish? Mr. Timms?

June: No. My pet only name this junk just because he's lonely.

Thomas: Well, tell him to be a hero, like Sonic. Brave, heroic, and loyal.

June: Hey Sir Dimples! Try to be a hero like Sonic! Not an acting hero, but a real hero!

Thomas: (Whispers) Sir Dimples?

June: (Whispers) That's all I can think of.

Sonic came in

Sonic: Hey, guys. Come to the Tornado. We're leaving.

June: Leaving?

Thomas: To where?

Sonic: I don't know. But, Nancy ran away.

June: What?

Thomas: No way!

Sonic: That's why we're going to look for her.

June: Can I bring my pet lizard with me?

Sonic: Sure. Why not?

June grabs her pet's bowl.

June: Come on Fido! You're going on your first adventure!

Thomas: Fido?

Sonic, Tails, Shadow, June, Thomas, Conan, Rachel, Daffy, Koyuki and Dororo aboard the Tornado and goes to search for Nancy.

Koyuki: He's smells like his friendly.

June: He's a lizard.

Rachel: What does he do?

June: Acts.

Conan: He doesn't do anything, does he?

June: No.

Tails: Let me take a look at him. Daffy, can you take over the plane?

Daffy: Sure thing!

Thomas: You're going to let Daffy drive the plane?

Tails: Yes.

June: Does he even know how to drive a plane?

Shadow: He better not mess it up.

Tails: (Looks at June's pet) Is he scared?

June: Yes. He's afried of everything.

Thomas: I told her that his has to be a hero.

Tails: Like any kind of hero.

Thomas: Yes.

June: You hear that Snoki? You have to be any kind of hero. So what hero would you like to be?

Thomas: (Whispers) Snoki?

Everybody looks at June's pet.

June's Pet: The stage is waiting. The audience thirts for adventure. What hero would I like to be? I could be any hero. I could be the sea cap'n returning from a mighty voyage to reclaim his mechanical arm!

Koyuki: Sea captain?

June: No.

June's Pet: Or I could be the rogue anthrpologist. battling pythons down in the Congo!

Dororo: What is a Congo?

Sonic: It's kinda like a snake.

June: Awsome, but not quite.

June's Pet: Or if you desire romance, I will become the greastest lover the world has ever known! (Grabs his gutiar, plays it) Hola.

Thomas: Is he that serious?

June: Yep.

June's Pet: (Walks up to the broken doll) I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. But you seem remarkably at ease.

Sonic: (Thoughts) I wonder if June's Pet will help tell Nancy how I feel.

June: My pet has come to crazy town.

Thomas: He's as crazy as you.

June: What?

June slaps Thomas.

Thomas: OW!

June's Pet: (Gets an idea) That's it! Conflict. Victor, you were right. I have been underfined. (Grabs his glass of water) People, I've had an epiphany. The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event that will propel the hero into conflict!

June: Oh brother.

Tails: There is no conflict between us. Everythings fine.

Suddenly, there were sirens going on loud.

Thomas: Daffy, what's going on?

Daffy: (Guilty tone) Nothing!

A bright red light engulfs the cockpit and began to flash nonstop.

Sonic: Tails! What's happening?

Tails: I think we're going to hit something.

Daffy: That's not good.

Tails looked at the monitor, he spotted that the Tornado was going to hit a meteor

Tails: Guys! Brace for Impact!

Everyone on board got on the ground of the plane as it crashed into the meteor barely skimming it and causing it to explode. June's pet's bowl fell and shatters into a million pieces. 


	2. Chapter 2

Everybody gets up.

Tails: Is everybody okay?

June: Okay. (Laughs a little) OKAY? We've almost gotten ourselves killed and it's all because of Daffy! You are going to pay for this!

Daffy: What are you going to do?

June: Nothing, I mean you're going to pay for the Tornado.

Daffy: Oh.

Sonic: Well, I guess we're walking.

The sun starts to get bright and hot.

June: In this hot sun? No way!

Tails: We have to. According to the monetor, Nancy should be here.

Sonic: Good.

The others moaned.

June: If there was some water here, we would drink it right now.

Thomas: We need to find a town in this hot place.

Koyuki: What's that over there?

They see something very far way.

June: I don't know.

Shadow: Might be one of our enemies.

Thomas: Wait. Are you talking to us?

It didn't say anything.

Thomas: I said, Are you talking to us?

?: That's right! You!

June: Ah!

?: Don't be shy. Come on. It's okay.

They walked up to it and they discovered that it was a armadillo.

?: I need a little help here.

June: Whoa! What happened to you?

?: I must get to the other side.

Tails: Wait a minute! You were on the road!

Thomas: Daffy almost killed you.

June: Can I call you Roadkill?

Everybody looked at June.

June: It's a cool name.

Thomas: Your pet or the armadillo?

June: The armadillo.

Daffy: Sorry if I ran over at you.

Sonic: Why were you in the road?

Roadkill: This is my quest. He waits for me.

Sonic: Huh?

Tails: Who?

Roadkill: The Spirit of the West, amigos. The one. They say he rides an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him.

June: Alabaster carriage?

Thomas: Golden guardians?

Shadow: Did the duck hit you that hard?

Roadkill: Enlightenment. We are nothing without it.

June's Pet: Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! I had an incredibly complex social network going! Highly sophisticated friends! I was very popular!

Roadkill: Friends? I don't see no friends.

June: That's because he has no friends. They only friends he had are a toy fish, a plastic tree, a broken doll and a dead flea.

Roadkill: Your pet is a very lonely lizard.

June: I know that!

Roadkill: Now help me up and I will help you find what you seek.

Sonic: Really? You will?

Roadkill: Quickly. I must get back to my quest.

Thomas: You mean you've done this before?

Roadkill: Yes. Many times.

Sonic, Thomas and Shadow tried to push him, but it didn't work.

June: Well, that didn't work.

Roadkill: I must get to the other side.

Daffy: Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming?

Shadow: Hate to say this, but Daffy's got a point.

Conan: He's right.

Roadkill: It's not so easy as it looks.

Daffy: What?

June: It's a metaphor, dummy.

Daffy: Let me lift him!

Daffy lifts Roadkill back up, but is sent flying and falls to the ground. The others walked over to him.

June: Wow. That was the most fun I have ever seen.

Daffy: I think the metaphor broke my spleen.

Sonic: Okay, Roadkill, we got you up, now where can we find Nancy?

June: And water!

Roadkill: The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence.

Sonic: Okay.

June: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what about the water?

Roadkill: If you want to find water, you must first find Dirt.

Thomas: Dirt?

Tails: That might be far way.

June: We'll get thirtsy!

Roadkill: (Chuckles) Destiny, she is kind to you. Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes. At noon, the townspeople gather for a mysterioes ritual.

Thomas: Wait a minute. There is a town, in the middle of nowhere?

June: Please! Tell me! Where is it at?

Roadkill: A day's journey. Follow your shadows.

Sonic nods.

June: Oh no. We have to walk, do we?

Roadkill: That's the way.

They, except Sonic and Tails, moaned.

Roadkill: Go on. It's okay.

Sonic: Okay.

They walked into the desert.

Roadkill: We all have our journeys to make! I will see you on the other side. 


	3. Chapter 3

Sonic and the others are continuing walking in the desert.

June: It's so hot.

Thomas: I'm getting thirsty.

Sonic: Maybe this was a bad idea.

June: Ya think?

Tails: We really need to find a town and get something to drink.

Daffy: Tails has got a point. And I say we do this in a jiffy!

Everybody looks at Daffy.

Daffy: What?

They continue walking.

Tails: Sonic, are we going to die?

Sonic: No way. We will survive this desert, get water and continue to find Nancy. We will survive.

Thomas: Yeah, but the lizard. He's going to die.

June: Good point.

Sonic spots something. It was Nancy's book. He picks it up.

Sonic: This is Nancy's.

Sonic gives the book to Daffy.

Sonic and the others continue on walking.

Daffy: (Reads the book) "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..."

?: Don't move.

They stopped walking.

Thomas: June, did you say something?

June: No. Maybe Sonic said something.

Sonic: I thought Thomas said something.

Sonic and the otherss all looked around, but nobody said something.

Sonic: Come on, let's keep moving.

?: Don't move!

They all stoppped.

June's Pet: Not moving. Not moving.

Sonic: Who said that?

Thomas: Show yourself.

?: Try to blend in.

June: Blend in?

Daffy: For what?

Tails looks at the rock.

Tails: Hmm. This rock seems suspisios.

Koyuki was about to touch the rock.

?: (Opens it's eyes) Blend in.

June: Ah!

Sonic: What are we supposed to blend in for?

They look up and sees a eagle.

June: Is that an eagle?

Thomas: It's coming towards us!

?: Too late.

June's Pet: No, no. It's not too late! I'm blending! I'm a blender!

June: Crackers, calm down!

Thomas: Crackers? Really?

June: I'm a bad namer for my pet!

Shadow: What the hell is he doing?

June's pet hides behind the cactus, but the needles stick right through his back.

Sonic: Stop moving!

June: Try to disguise yourself.

June's pet poses as a cactus, but it didn't work. Then he tried to poses as a rock.

?: What are you doing?

June's Pet: I'm blending.

?: Go blend somewhere else.

June's Pet: Don't distract me.

?: No room at the inn.

June's Pet: It's an art, not a science.

?: Find your own hiding place.

June's Pet: No, this is good.

?: Here she comes! You better run, Mojito!

Sonic: Huh?

June: What?

Daffy: I thought you said, "Don't move."

?: That was before. Now, you run.

The eagle comes even closer to Sonic and the others.

Sonic: He's right. Run.

They all started running. The eagle gets hit and gets stuck in a can.

Sonic: She can't see.

Tails: Let's quietly escape.

They all tip toe, but Daffy just stepped on a stick.

June: Daffy!

Daffy: Oops...

The eagle turns around.

Daffy: Mother...

Sonic and the others started running again and the eagle chases them.

June: Hey! Let's hide in the bottle!

Thomas: Are you that completly worthless?

June: Just get in!

Sonic and the others get inside the bottle.

The eagle takes off the can and looks at Sonic and the others, confussed.

June: Oh, hey. Proboscis.

The eagle pecks on the bottle, but it doesn't break.

June: Oh. Testy.

Thomas: I think it's starting to work.

The eagle goes up the bottle and scrtaches it making a screeching sound. Then it picks up the bottle.

June: Ah!

Conan: Maybe not!

They all looked down, it was very high.

June: Oh my, God!

June's Pet: Please, no, please. I have vertigo! My glands are swelling!

Sonic: You wouldn't dare!

The eagle drops the bottle and it fells on ?.

?: Hey!

Daffy: Aw man! That was a long fall!

?: You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! Get out of there. I'm going to strangle your huevos!

Sonic: The eagle! Behind you!

Sonic and the others run away and ? follows them.

?: No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding! Come on, we're friends, right?

June: We only met you!

?: Lizards, frogs...

Thomas: Find your own hiding place!

?: We're practically related!

Koyuki: No room at the inn!

?: Come on, move over!

Sonic: You're not our friend!

?: I'll let you kiss my sister!

Half of the bottle breaks and the eagle grabs ? and flies away.

?: You son of a bitch!

June: Well, that went well.

Thomas: We need somewhere to sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sonic and the others found a sewer to sleep in.

June: This looks nice.

Rachel: It looks disgusting.

Dororo: We'll get use to it.

Sonic: We'll find the town and Nancy, tomorrow.

June: Tomorrow's Wednesday. That's where the water is.

Thomas: We'll get it at noon. Let's just go to sleep.

They all fell asleep.

The next morning, some water just came out of the sewer and Sonic and the others got out.

Rachel: Ugh! We're all wet!

June: Wait! If we're all wait, then that means- (Gasps) Water! Quick, drink some before it's all gone!

Thomas tries to get the water, but it dried up, then June tries to get the water, but it also dried up and Sonic tries to get the water, but it lastly dried up, but he felt something rubbery, like a boot, he looks up and sees a desert iguana holding a gun.

?: Get your slimy-webbed plalanges off my boots!

Sonic: Oops. Sorry.

June: Way ta go Sonic.

Thomas: At least she's holding a gun.

?: I got a bead on you, stranger. So you get up real slow lessen you want to spend the better part of the afternoon putting your face back together!

Sonic did as she told him.

?: Who are you?

Sonic: Huh? Me? I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog and these are my friends, Tails, Shadow, June, Thomas, Rachel, Conan, Daffy, Koyuki and Dororo.

June: Where did you come from?

?: I'm asking the questions here! Our town is drying up. We're in the middle of drought. Now someone's dumping water in the desert! It's a puzzle of underterminable size and dimension, but I intend to find out what role you playing in all this.

June: Role?

?: What are you involved in?

June: Uh...

June's Pet: Well, I'm glad you asked. I've got tow one-acts, a mystery and a musical I've been gestating. I got the words, I'm just working on the melody right now. It's like a Hmm hm hmm hm hmm hm hmm. I think it's going to be a wester. A monkey got a cracker His mother was a slapper She'll be coming 'round the mountain in the rain

June: Don't listen to him, his has the brain of a wallnut.

Sonic: You may not know me, but I'm the fastest hedgehog alive. I fought all villians and I saved the world. I am a hero. And I'm looking for my friend that I care about and I don't want to be harmed by a girl with a gun...

?: ... You ain't from around here, are you?

June: Nope.

Thomas: We're not.

Tails: We're from a different world.

? goes to the cart.

Sonic: So, what's your name?

?: Beans.

June: That's a funny kind of name.

Thomas: More like a food's name.

Beans: What can I say? My daddy plumb loved baked beans.

Thomas: Well, you're lucky he didn't plumb love asparagus.

Beans: What are you saying?

Thomas: All I'm saying is that I'm allergic to asparagus.

June: You're allergic to asparagus?

Thomas: Mm-hmm.

Beans: My daddy was a great man, even if he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes.

June: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Daffy picks up a jar of black stuff.

Sonic: What are you doing?

Daffy: Eating this delicious candy.

Koyuki: I don't think it's candy. Cause it's all black.

Daffy: I don't care. It tastes good.

Beans sees it.

Beans: You're eating his ashes!

Daffy: AAH!

Daffy spits out the ashes.

June: You carry his soul around?

Beans: No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body.

Sonic: Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.

Beans: What are you implying?

Sonic: Nothing.

June: Hope your daddy is in a mine shaft. Cause my daddy is back home.

Beans: My daddy was never near that mine shaft. He'd been sober for over a month! And for you to insinuate that he would abandon his parental responsibilities at a delicate time in my personal development is an affront to my sense...

Suddenly, Beans frozed.

June: Whoa...

Koyuki: She's frozen.

Sonic: How did this happen?

June: Who cares! Now that Beans is frozen, I don't have to listen to her yelling a lot.

Thomas: It's mysterious.

Sonic examples Beans for a second. She's a lot like Nancy, but different. Sonic lets out a sigh.

Beans gets unfrozen.

Beans: And until the people of Andromeda Five return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch!

Thomas: Ow!

June: It's back.

Beans notice that Sonic is right next to her.

Beans: What are you doing?

Sonic: I was just exampling you.

Beans: You're cuddling me.

Sonic: You were frozen.

Beans: I was not.

June: Yeah you did. You stopped talking.

Beans: It's a defense mechanism. Actually, lots of lizards have it.

June's Pet: You're making that up.

Beans: So, you gonna die out here, or you want a ride into town?

June: Ride into town. Please.

Sonic and the others gets on Beans' cart.

Beans: Today's Wesnesday. Wednesday's when we all get to it.

The cart moves into the town.

Thomas: You still haven't pick him a name for your pet.

June: Oh. Well, I put up some names. There's his stage name, his pen name, his avatar. I had a pseudonym once for him, but I had it legally changed.

The cart contiunes to keep moving for a few hours.

June: ...nom de plume, I have a CB handle. I also have a maiden name for him, but you might laugh.

The carts stops.

Beans: Well, here we are.

Thomas: Thank God.

Sonic and the others got off the cart.

Sonic: Thanks for the lift, Beans.

Beans: You're welcome. Get on up!

The carts moves to the town.

June: Bye! 


	5. Chapter 5

Sonic and the others went up to a sign.

June: Dirt City... Great.

Thomas: At least it's a town.

Sonic: Now we have to do is find water and we'll be out of here to find Nancy.

June: Good. Then let's go find a restruant.

Sonic and the others went into the town. They looked at the small Dirt City.

Koyuki: Seems pretty nice, don't you think Dororo.

Dororo: I believe so.

Suddenly, someone throws a rock at Sonic.

Sonic: Ow! Who threw that?

Some kids laughed at Sonic and they leave except for a cactus mouse or a aye-aye girl name Priscilla.

Sonic: What was that for?

Priscilla: You're funny looking.

Sonic: Oh, yeah? Well, you're funny looking, too.

Priscilla: That's a funny-looking shoes.

Sonic: That's a funny-looking dress.

Priscilla: You got funny-looking eyes!

Sonic: You... you...

Daffy: Well, what Sonic meant to say was " You got a funny-looking face!"

Thomas facepalms himself.

Thomas: I have to be surrounded by idiots.

Prisculla: You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here.

Prisculla leaves. June turns around.

June: There's Beans.

Sonic: Beans?

June points at Beans to the others.

Sonic: Great.

Man: Here's your beans, Beans.

Beans: I'm gonna need some more feed, too, Willie.

Willie: Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts already. I can't give you more credit.

Beans: But I'll have what I owe you at noon.

Willie: You don't understand. It's Mr. Merrimack down at the bank. He cut off all credit.

June's Pet: Hey, Beans! Beans!

Willie: Do you know these people?

June's Pet: Hey, Beans! Miss Beans!

Beans: Nope.

June's Pet: Hey, Beans! Hey.

Sonic: Well, if we're going to get some water and find Nancy, we need to blend in.

June: Good idea.

Thomas: How?

Sonic: Well, we'll just do what the cowboys do.

Sonic and the others walk around Dirt City. They finally found a place where they could drink.

June: Thank God! We're saved!

Sonic and the others went inside. Everybody looks at them. They walked up to the counter.

Waiter: What will you like?

Sonic: Um.. Before we order, can I ask you a question? Have you seen a 15 year old girl with brown hair, wears a shirt with a flower on it, green skirt and boots?

Waiter: Why yes. She just came in here yesterday. And then she left this morning.

Sonic: Oh... We missed her.

June: Well, now that we know she's safe. We would like 10 glasses of water.

Everybody laughed at June. Thomas just facepalm himself.

June: What? What did I say?

Man: She wants a glass of water!

Dunk Man: Make it a double!

June: It's not that funny!

Sonic: Sure sounds like it.

Waiter: Cactus juice. That's what we got.

The waiter slides the cactus juice to Sonic. Sonic grabs it. He pours all 10 glasses for each of his friends and himself.

Sonic: Cheers for our survival.

All: Cheers.

They all drink the cactus juice. It was really disgusting.

Man 2: Hey, there, fruit cup. You're a long ways from home, ain't ya?

Sonic: Yes. We're looking for our friend.

Man 2: Who exactly are you?

Sonic: I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog.

Thomas: June, you still haven't pick a name for your pet.

June: Fine. I'll call him Juice.

Thomas sighs.

June: Not good.

Thomas: Not one bit.

June's pet looks at himself at the mirror.

June's Pet: (Whispers) Who am I? I could be anyone.

Man 2: What's the matter? You missing your mommy's mangos?

Everybody laughs at Sonic.

June: Mangos?

June's Pet: Sonic is 15 years old. He is nice and loyal. But not as much as your daddy's cooking!

Everybody gasps.

June: What are you doing?

Man 2: Exactly where did you say you were from?

Thomas: That's easy. We're-

June's Pet: Us? We're from the West. Out there, beyond the horizon. Past the sunset. The Far West. Yeah, that's right, hombres. The place we come from, we kill a man before breakfast just to work up an appetite. Then we salt him, and we pepper him. Then we braise him in clarified butter. And then we eat him.

Shadow: We eat him?

June's Pet: That's what I said! Hell, we seen things make a grown lose control of his glandular functions! You spend three days in a horse carcass, living off your own juices. It'll change a man. Oh, yeah. Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents. Just the way I like it. So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, we are not from around these parts. You might say we're from everywhere there's trouble brewing and hell waiting to be raised. You might say I'm what hell's already raised up. Name's Rango.

June: Rango?

Thomas: Least it's better than Juice.

Man 3: Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers?

Sonic: What?

Koyuki: Jenkins brothers?

Rango: Uh-huh. Killed them with one bullet. Don't get no deader.

Man 4: All seven of them?

Sonic: Huh?

Rango: That's right. All seven of them.

Man 5: Exactly how you do that, Mr. Rango?

Rango: You know, I'm glad you asked me that. And I will be happy to tell you how. But you're all gonna have to listen up! Because this is where it gets complicated.

Sonic, June and Thomas: Oh no... 


	6. Chapter 6

Meanwhile at the bank

Mr. Merrimack: I don't rightly have no other choicr, Beans. Times being so hard, we just can't give no more credit.

Beans: But this here is a bank. This is where you keep the water.

Mr. Merrimack: Beans, you've been like a niece to me ever since your daddy...did not fall drunk down a mine shaft. I've tried to protect you and others from certain realities. But that... Well...

Beans: Mr. Merrimack?

Mr. Merrimack: Realities are bearing down.

Beans: Mr. Merrimack! Are you all right?

Mr. Merrimack: Beans, I need to show you something.

Mr. Merrimack takes Beans to the safty of the water. She sees that the water is almost out.

Beans: That's all that's left?

Mr. Merrimack: And this here is the reserve! I don't know if you've noticed, but folks just ain't making deposits on a Wednesday no more!

Beans: Mr. Merrimack, if I don't get some water, I'm gonna lose my ranch and you're telling me that's all that's left in the whole town? Now that just don't make no sense. Now, listen. Someone is dumping water in the desert. I seen it with my own eyes.

Mr. Merrimack: Water in the desert? Was this during one of your (Did a frozen pose) special times?

Beans: No.

Mr. Merrimack: Well, we can all dream, but this is reality. Why do you think so many people are selling out? They just can't make it.

Beans: Well, what am I supposed to do?

Mr. Merrimack: Well, I suppose we could talk to the Mayor. I hear he's been helping people out in this time of crisis.

Beans: The Mayor?

Mr. Merrimack: He may be our only hope.

Back at the bar

Rango: Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, and that's when the roof caved in, igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol instantly vaporizing his bodily form leaving nothing but a charcoal statue and a high-pitched squeal.

Thomas: Is he ever going to shut up?

Daffy: Don't talk about Mr. Rango, he's the most bravest man in the world.

June: Daffy! Rango is not from the West! He is my pet lizard!

Daffy: Now that's just ridiculous.

Shadow: Has his brain been broken from the crash?

Sonic: I don't know.

June: Hey Rango, you forgot the 7th.

Rango: Number 7? Hell, he died of infection.

All the cowboys and Daffy cheered, then they heard a gun shot.

Sonic: We're in trouble. Acted cool.

June, Thomas, Tails, Shadow, Dororo, Koyuki, Conan, Rachel and Daffy: Right.

Bad Bill: You got corn in your ears, mate? You don't pay the mortgage, you don't own the land!

Cowboy: That's basic real estate lw, my friend.

Spanish Cowboy: Quid pro quo!

Bad Bill: If I see your face in this town again, I'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables.

Cowboy: Mind the beak.

Bad Bill: And don't come back!

Bad Bill looks at the cowboys.

Bad Bill: What are you all gawping at?

June: (Whispers to Sonic) He's looking at you, Sonic...

Bad Bill walks up to Sonic)

Man 4: Hey, Bad Bill, there's something I got to tell you!

Bad Bill looks at Sonic

Bad Bill: What is this?

June: This is Sonic. He's our friend.

Daffy: Yeah, he ain't afraif of you! He ain't afraid of none of you.

Sonic: Daffy!

Daffy: He killed the Jenkins brothers with Rango.

Sonic: No I didn't!

Daffy: He done it with one bullet.

Sonic: It's a lie!

Daffy: All seven of them!

Sonic: He's crazy!

Bad Bill: Is that right?

Sonic: No...

Bad Bill glares at Sonic.

June grabs the cigerate and puts it in Rango's mouth.

Rango's mouth gets hot, so he drinks the cactus juice. He burps with a whole flame coming out of his mouth right at Bad Bill's face.

Rango: Let me get that before you... (Uses the towel to put out the fire, but it didn't work) No. Oh, I know. Here. (Grabs the cactus juice and throws it at Bad Bill's face)

The fire growed bigger and it disappeared.

Rango: Just take care of that for you. (Takes out the small fire) There. All better.

Bad Bill pulls out a gun and slides it to Sonic.

Thomas: This cannot be good.

June: You can say that again...

Daffy: Sweet! Hey, what's with the gun?

They all get scared. 


	7. Chapter 7

At the town square, Bad Bill and his gang glared at Sonic for a moment.

Thomas: This is a dangerous fight we have ever seen.

June: And you have to blabble your mouth for it!

Daffy: I'm sorry! I just wanted to see Sonic in action.

June: Yeah, by watching him die!

Sonic looked at Bad Bill and grinned.

Sonic: Hey, did somebody here order a clobbering?

Bad Bill didn't say anything.

Sonic: Are you sure? It says somebody ordered an extra large clobbering topped with everything.

Bad Bill still didn't say anything. Thomas facepalmed himself and June is getting real pissed.

Sonic: Hmm, okay... tell ya what, I can't take this thing back so I'll you an extra large clobbering for nothing.

June: Rango, give Sonic the gun.

Rango was about to give Sonic the gun, but the bullets fell.

Rango: T.O. T.O. Just a second.

Thomas: Oh great.

Rango puts the bullets back in the gun. He throws it to Sonic.

Sonic: Now, let's see who is the new cowboy in Dirt City. Hope you're hungry.

Rango walks up to the battle before it starts.

Rango: All right, now listen! I'm going to give you fellas one last chance to reconsider!

Rango's belt fell.

Thomas: Look down.

Rango looks down and pulls up his belt up.

Rango: And if you don't want to reconsider I might consider reconsidering myself.

Everybody hides and Bad Bill and his gang ran off.

Sonic: They left?

Daffy: Yahoo! Great job, Sonic! That's what I'm talking about! Yeah!

Rango: All right, now listen up! Things are going to be different around here now that Rango's in town.

June: (In shocked) Uh.. Rango...

Rango: Got some new rules! I want my shoes shined every morning, my coffee hot, Danish on the side.

Thomas: Rango...

Rango: Whatever you do, don't look me in the eye.

June: Rango..

Rango: Stay out of my peripheral vision!

Thomas: (Whispers to Sonic) Sonic!

Sonic: What?

June: The eagle!

Sonic turns around and sees that the eagle was standing right behind.

Sonic: Oh boy.

Sonic zooms back to the others, but Rango is still yapping.

June: Rango!

Rango: And when you see me coming, stand aside.

Thomas: Rango...

Rango: I take large steps and I don't want none of you hayseeds getting your bodily fluids on my boots!

June: Rango, turn your dumb ass around!

Rango turns around and sees the eagle and gets scared, but he pretands not to be afraid.

Rango: Of course, there is no need for violence, as long as we stick together, work as a team. So I want you all to come outside now and line up single file while I take a brief intermission!

Rango hides in the bathroom.

Sonic: Is he that serious?

Thomas: What happened to the "extra large clobbering?"

Sonic: That was for Bad Bill, now Rango has ordered an extra large hiding!

The eagle goes up to the bathroom and scratches it.

A man gets out of the barrel to go gets his hat. The eagle turns around. The man goes back to the barrel. The eagle turns back to Rango, but Rango ran of. The eagle follows him while Rango screams like crazy.

June: What is he doing?

Sonic: He is running around in circles while being chase by the eagle.

Thomas: Great. Just Great.

Rango goes to the door and continues running from the eagle and he founded a snack machine. He goes over there. The eagle breaks in. It sees Rango as a piece of candy. It picks up a quarter and puts it in the machince. The box of candy that Rango was in fell. The eagle went up to him, but Rango disappeared. Rango was escaping from the eagle. The eagle chases after Rango. It grabs him. Rango pulls out the pull. He was about to shoot the eagle, but he shoots the candy. The bullet hits the wall, then the eagle's beak, then the ground which where the rope was at to the tower filled with rocks. It fell and crushes the eagle, killing it. Everybody, including Sonic and the others, walked up to Rango and the dead eagle.

Koyuki: Did you see that?

June: Rango killed the eagle?

Thomas: With just one bullet?

Waiter: What do you think, Doc?

Doc: This eagle is dead!

Sonic: No way.

Shadow: That's impossible.

June: Well it is now.

Priscilla: Shoot, I say we cook that right up.

Conan looks at the gun.

Conan: Thomas is right, Rango did shoot the eagle with one bullet.

Man 9: Just like he said!

Man 3: It's about time we had a hero around here.

Man 7: One whp ain't in a pine box.

Thomas: Oh come people. Rango is-

Sonic: Is a greatest hero in town!

June and Thomas: What?

Man 2: You hear that, Rango? You're a hero!

Man 10: Let's hear it for Rango!

Everybody cheered for Rango. June, Thomas and Shadow were mad at Sonic.

Sonic: What? 


	8. Chapter 8

Sonic is at the bar drinking the cactus juice. He's getting used to it. June came in.

June: The Mayor wants to talk with you.

Sonic: Me?

Sonic goes to the Mayor's place. He sits down in the waiting room.

Beans: My land is not for sale! I came here to save my land, not sell it!

Mr. Merrimack: I'm sure there's something reasonable we can work out if you just talk to him! Beans! Where are you going? Beans?

Woman: The Mayor will see you now.

Sonic gets up and goes to the Mayor's office. Mayor Tortoise John takes some water from a glass picture jar.

Tortoise John: Hello Sonic. I heard of your adventures with your friends. I've also heard about the fight with Xemeas.

Sonic: So do.

Tortoise John: What brings you here to Dirt City?

Sonic: I'm looking for my friend, Nancy. She's about the same age as I am, 15, and she ran away for no reason. I heard she went to this town and left. I'm still searching for her right now.

Tortoise John: When you find your friend, you also need to find something else.

Sonic: What is that?

Tortoise John: Water, Sonic, water. Without it, there's nothing but dust and decay. But with water there's life.

Some bugs drink the dip of water.

Tortoise John: Look at them, so desperate to live, they'll follow it anywhere. That's the immutable law of the desert. Control the water and you control everything. This is from my private stock. Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge. Not Noah's deluge. Good heavens, I'm not that old.

Sonic: Hee. Hee.. Yeah... I guess power has its privileages.

Tortoise John: You make a good point, son. But with privilege comes responsibility. Hell, I was mayor here before there was a Dirt City! And I may be just a sentimental old turtle, but I think there's a future for this town. And I hope you'll be part of it. To Dirt!

Sonic: To Dirt.

Tortoise John went outside. Sonic followed him.

Tortoise John: You see them, Sonic? All my friends and neighbors? It's a hard life here. Very hard. Do you know how they make it through each and every day? They believe. They believe it's going to be better. They believe that the water will come. They believe against all odds and all evidence that tomorrow will be better than today.

Tortoise John gives Sonic brown pants and a red hankercift and a badge.

Tortoise John: People have to believe in something. Right now, they believe in you and your friends.

Sonic looks at the pants, the hankercift and the badge.

Tortoise John: Put them on, Sonic. Your destiny awaits. People have to believe in something.

Sonic: Hmm... You're right.

Sonic goes back to the others as he is now wearing the brown pants, the red hankercift and the badge. June is wearing a red shirt with a sun attach to it and a green skirt and Thomas is wearing a cowboy hat, a black shirt and a brown vest.

June: Sonic! Thank God you're- Are you wearing pants?

Sonic: Yeah.

Thomas: How did it go with the Mayor?

Koyuki: Did he tell you that we're going to leave this town?

Sonic: No. He said that people need us. If we're going to find Nancy, then we're going to find the water. So we are staying here.

Tails, June, Thomas, Shadow, Koyuki, Dororo, Conan, Rachel and Daffy: WHAT?

June: Are you that crazy?

Sonic: We just have to pretnd that we're really from the West like Rango said.

Thomas: We could at least go home!

Tails: Sonic.. Why?

Sonic: It's for the best. As soon as we find the water, we'll be out of here.

June: Finally.

With Beans and Mr. Merrimack

Beans: It just don't make no sense. This whole town is drying up, and the Mayor is the only one who don't seem to be affected. Doesn't that make you just a wee bit suspicious? And what about that water I saw out in the desert?

Mr. Merrimack: All right! No need to incite anxiety. I'll inquire about the Mayor. But if you really feel there's some conspiracy occurring, I suggest you take it up with the new sheriff.

Beans goes to a clothing shop where Sonic and the others are.

Rango: This is going to be good. Hey! Watch that needle there. Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker!

Woman: That's good.

Beans opens the door and goes up to Rango.

June: Hi Beans.

Sonic: Not her again.

Thomas: Guess what, June named the sheriff Rango.

Beans: Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. I want to talk to you.

Rango: Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds? I got a 10-gallon hat marked down from 15.

Beans: That's nice.

Rango: Have you met Angelique?

Angelique: Hello, Beans.

Beans: Hello, Angelique.

June: I'll take that as a yes.

Boy: Excuse me, Mr. Rango.

Rango pulls out his gun.

Rango: I will blow that ugly right off your face!

Boy: I was justing thinking that...

Rango: You want the old John Hancock, do you? Well, here. Hold this.

Beans: Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call.

Boy: There's a bullet in there.

Rango: I know about the shindig this afternoon. I ordered myself some right fancy duds.

Beans: Sheriff, I'd like to file a...

Woman: Mr. Rango!

Rango: Oh, you, too? No problem. Here, let me just...

Beans: I need you to investigate...

Rango: You know, Beans, I bet you clean up real nice, you put a little effort into it.

Beans: What?

Rango: Now, remember, son, stat in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare.

Boy: Who's Shakespeare?

Beans: Sheriff Rango, if that is your real name. I am trying to save my daddy's ranch, which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown while you're playing patty-cake with this here trollop!

Beans freezes again.

June: Beans is frozen again. Finally.

Thomas: Why does she keep doing that?

Willie: It's a survival reflex.

Doc: Her switch is just broken.

Rango: Well, that's an inconvenience.

Daffy: Is that some kind of rash?

Beans gets unfrozen.

Beans: It is not a rash! It is a birthmark!

Beans realizes that she was frozen.

Beans: I did it again, didn't I?

June: Yep. And it went well.

Beans: (Sighs) Let me ask you something. Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff?

Sonic: What do you mean?

They looked outside and sees a man building a coffin.

Sonic: Oh boy..

June: Sorry to hear this, Rango, but I think you're going to be dead.

Rango gulps as Beans leaves. 


	9. Chapter 9

The clock strikes 12. Everybody went outside.

Daffy: Where is everyobdy going?

Koyuki: I think it's water time.

Dororo: I think you're right, Koyuki.

June: Oh God! Thank the lords for it!

They walked to the place where the water is. Some music starts. Everybody was dancing. All the people in Dirt City continue to go to the water. Sonic and the others followed. Sonic talks with Priscilla for a while.

Sonic: This is a heck of a hoedown you got there. Still working out those steps. So, this is where considered normal civic are behaving?

Priscilla: Mm-hm. Every Wednesday, just like clockwork.

Man: You killed bird.

Sonic: Actually, Rango did. (Whispers to himself) Not really...

Man: Bird dead. Snake come.

Sonic: Snake?

Priscilla: He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr. Sonic. He never comes to town 'cause he's scared of that eagle. But he might come now. Can I have your shoes when you're dead?

Sonic: No! And I have no problem with Rattlesnake Jake.

Priscilla: That's just what Amos said.

Sonic: Amos?

Priscilla looks at the tombstone of Amos who was once sheriff, but died for no reason.

Priscilla: You got any gold fillings?

The people of Dirt City, Sonic and the others made it where the water is.

June: Fresh water is here.

Tortoise John: My fellow Dirtonians. I welcome you to our great day of deliverance. Hallelujah.

All: Hallelujah!

Tortoise John: Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot! We have a newcomer amongst us today, my friends. A man I think needs little introduction to you so bold has been his entry into our fair society. Rango, would you step forward?

Rango did as he was told.

Tortoise John: The time has come, my friends. The time that was foretold!

All: Hallelujah!

Tortoise John: The sacred time!

All: Hallelujah!

Tortoise John: The time of destiny!

All: Hallelujah!

Tortoise John: The time of deliverance!

All: Hallelujah!

Tortoise John: It is the time of hydration!

June: Hallelujah!

The men turned the pipe. Some mud fall in there. Everybody gasps.

June: What?

Thomas: Mud. I should of known.

Sonic: How did this happen?

Woman: It's his fault!

Woman 2: It's the newcomer!

Woman 3: Burn him!

Man: He's a witch!

Priscilla: I get his boots!

Tortoise John: My friends, my friends! Temper your frustrations. Times will be tough from now on. Sacrifices will have to be made. But if I can help in any way, please know that my door is always...

Beans: Hold it, hold it! Now, this whole thing stinks three ways to Sunday. First the bank's run dry and now this here spigot?

Man 2: The bank's run dry?

Man 3: What's she talking about?

Woman 4: She said there's no water in the bank!

June: Huh?

Daffy: What?

Conan: (Jimmy's thoughts) Well this can't be good.

Everybody went to the bank trying to get in.

Mr. Merrimack: This is all we have! We can't give it all out!

Waiter: That was my rehydration account!

Rango fires his gun.

Rango: None of that civil disobedience in my town, thank you very much.

Mr. Merrimack lets Rango, Sonic and the others in.

Mr. Merrimack: Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff. Things were getting out of hand.

Everybody else follows them.

Mr. Merrimack: Come right in.

Rango: Let me have a gander at the source of the societal discontentment here.

June: Oh God... There's probably a lot of water in it. Can I?

Mr. Merrimack nods a little. June grabs a cup, takes some water out, and drinks it.

Rango: All right, listen up! I've been thinking and I believe I've figured something out. You folks have a water problem!

Sonic: What's he talking about?

Thomas shrugs.

Shadow: This better be a good reason.

June continues to drink some more water.

Rango: Now just pay attention, everybody. I'm trying to make a point here. Let's say this fella here were to take a drink of water. Just one little drink. No harm, no foul, right? And you! You're just as dried up and parched as a jackrabbit in July. So you belly on up and take you a double shot!

June is still drinking water like crazy.

Thomas: June! Stop hogging the water!

June: Sorry. I'm just thirsty.

Rango: What do you think happens then? Why we'd all be drinking! And before you know it, there wouldn't be any more water. And then where would we be? We'd be thirsty. Real thirsty. We'd turn on each other like a bunch of animals!

Daffy: We are animals.

Shadow hits Daffy really hard.

Rango: Now look here. We have got six days of water.

The water drops down to 5 Days.

Thomas: Make that five days of water, no thanks to June.

Sonic: Everybody, calm down! As long as we've got water, we've got ourselves a town.

Tortoise John: Sonic is right. As long as we have this water, we have some hope.

Rango: And you can all take it from me. My 100% full-time employment from this moment on will be to protect our precious natural resource. Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango.

That night, Sonic, Thomas and June are taking a walk in Dirt City.

Sonic: It's so lucky that Rango and I stand up to everybody to have hope.

Thomas: And I can't believe June drank a bunch of water because she was thirsty!

June: Hey! If Roadkill didn't told us to walk around the desert, we wouldn't be in this mess. And now my pet lizard is the sheriff of Dirt City!

Thomas: It's your fault you bring him on this search party for Nancy.

Sonic: Guys...

Suddenly, they heard some digging. Two men came out.

Man: This ain't the bank.

Man 2: I told you, Jedidiah!

Sonic: What's going on here?

Jedidiah: Who's that?

Man 2: It's the Sheriff's assistants!

?: What's up there?

The mysterious man turned out to be Pete.

Pete: Di! Daaaaah! It's you!

Sonic: Pete! What are you doing here?

Pete: I teamed up with these bandits so I can help them find some water. And there ain't no way you can stop us!

Thomas: Oh we're stopping you! Cause you're going to jail!

Pete: What?

June: And while you're in jail, we might ask you where Nancy is?

Pete: Who?

Man 3: Ezekiel, Jedidiah, Pete! What the Sam Hill's going on up there? I've had polyps removed smarter than the three of you! Hell's fire, this ain't the bank!

Ezekiel: Pappy, the Sheriff's assistaints are standing right here, arresting us.

Jedidiah: Gonna ask some question about this Nancy chick.

June: That's right, sir. Just doing our duty. Hee hee. Duty...

Thomas: Not funny.

Pete: I ain't never going to tell you about this girl!

Pappy: Does he look like he sounds?

Pete: Alright, where's the bank?

June: Well, if you ask me, the bank is right over there.

June points to the bank to Pappy, Pete, Jedidiah and Ezekiel.

Pete: Ho, ho! We hit the jack pot!

Thomas: June!

Pappy: Much obliged.

Pete: We'll be seeing you soon.

Pappy, Pete, Jedidiah and Ezekiel went to the bank. Sonic and Thomas glared at June.

June: You guys are pretty angry at me right now.

Sonic and Thomas made an angry look which means yes. 


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning.

Man: The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! Good Lord, the bank's been robbed!

Willie: What's going on?

Man: It's gone! The water's all gone!

Man 2: What'd he say?

Man 3: He said the bank's been robbed!

Thomas: June, wake up, Pete and his new crew robbed the bank because of you.

June: Ugh... 5 more minutes...

Thomas goes to June's bed and pushes June out.

June: Hey!

Thomas: Let's go. (Grabs June's tail)

June: You are going to hear from my lawyer.

Rango: (Wakes up) Dr. Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me!

Sonic: (Came in) Rango! The bank's been robbed! And now the town will dry up and we'll die of thirst! Let's go!

Rango and Sonic headed to the bank.

Rango: All right, folks, stand back, clear the area. This is a crime scene now. Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, check for fibers, scan for DNA. I want a urine sample from everyone. And get me a latte. And don't mix up the two.

June: Oh, my God. Those basturds stole all the water!

Koyuki: Not everything.

Pete have left a rusted gun and a note. Daffy picks it up.

Daffy: What does it say?

Thomas: "Come get the water, Sheriff" You idiot.

Rango: I'll take that. Material evidence.

Man 4: What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?

Spoons: We need that water.

Woman: We're all going to die!

Tortoise John: My friends, we all know what we have to do now.

Rango: That's right. We all know what we have to do now. And that would be?

Thomas: Form a posse.

Rango: Form a possum!

Everybody went into silence.

Thomas: I said a posse, not a possum.

At the town square.

Rango: Now, we're gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion. First off, does anybody here know how to use a firearm of any kind?

Everybody pulls out some guns.

Rachel: I'm guessing that's a yes.

Tails: Very good.

Shadow pulls out his gun as well.

June: Where'd you get that?

Shadow: None of your buisness.

June: Okay, Mr. Smarty Pants.

Rango: All right, then.

Willie: What do we do now, Sheriff?

Rango: Now we ride!

Everybody gets confussed.

Daffy: To where?

Sonic shrugs.

Thomas: I say we go follow Pete and his crew. Who's with us?

Everybody raises their hands.

Rango: Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge of all tracking and finding of villains, utilizing your well-developed Injun-uity, no offense taken. So which way do you think they went? You want to sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or something?

Wounded Bird points Sonic and the others to the hole.

Sonic: That's the one.

Sonic, Thomas, Rango, Waffles, Spoons, Wounded Bird and Doc decided to go to after Pappy, Pete, Judidiah and Ezekiel while Tails, Shadow, Conan, Rachel, Koyuki, Dororo, Daffy and everybody in Dirt City stay here and stay on guard.

Sonic: I'm depending on you, Spoons.

Rango: You got a little tobaccy in the beard there.

Sonic: Always good to have a medical man along, Doc.

Rango: Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother?

Waiter: I'm an amphibian.

Rango: Ain't no shame in that.

Sonic: Gah! You sure you're okay with this duty, soldier?

Arrow Bird: What?

Sonic: Well, you got an arrow in your eye.

Arrow Bird: Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary.

Sonic: Not that eye. Oh never mind...

June was about to go to the hole.

Thomas: June! Uh... You can't come with us!

June: Why not? Is it because I'm a girl?

Thomas: Uh.. Yeah, I think so.

June: I can do whatever I want! I love adventures.

June jumps in the hole. Beans was about go in too.

Thomas: You too, Beans! We don't want you to get hurt.

Beans gets mad and grabs the torch and jumps in the hole.

Thomas: Never mind.

Thomas, Rango and Waffles jump in the hole. Before Sonic can jump in, he sees Priscilla, holding a briefcase.

Sonic: Oh.. Priscilla.. I wanted you to come, but you're just a little kid. I think you can stay here and be on guard with Tails and the others.

Priscilla opens the briefcase and pulls out two guns.

Priscilla: Can I gut-shoot someone?

Sonic: Uh... Let's put a pin in that.

Priscilla: Sonic, you're going to bring that water back, aren't you?

Sonic: (Smiles) Count on it, Priscilla.

Priscilla also smiles.

Sonic: I'll be back as soon as I can.

Sonic jumps in the hole. 


	11. Chapter 11

Sonic, Rango, June, Thomas, Beans, Waffles, Spoons, Doc, Willie, Arrow Bird and Wounded Bird looked at the the tunnel of the hole.

Spoons: Which way do we go, Sheriff?

Doc: There's tunnels everywhere.

Waiter: Whole town's perforated with them.

Doc: How'd them fellers find the bank, anyway?

Sonic and Thomas looked at June.

June: Uuuhhhhh... I have no clue.

Rango: Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here.

Sonic: Rango! Over here!

Rango, June, Thomas, Beans, Waffles, Spoons, Doc, Willie, Arrow Bird and Wounded Bird goes up to Sonic and looks at the pipes.

Waiter: Would you look at that?

Spoons: Like seeing the face of God.

Wounded Bird: Amen, brother.

Willie: I remember when it used to flow every Wednesday.

Thomas: That was the halcyon days.

June: There must be a reason why it stopped.

Beans: Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water.

Waffles: What do you say, Sheriff?

Rango: Uuuhhh...

Thomas: You're no help. Sonic?

Sonic: Clearly, the robbers came from this direction. I say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum.

Waiter: What'd he say?

Arrow Bird: I think he said follow the pipe.

Waffles: He said follow the pipe.

June: That's what he said. Follow the pipe.

Sonic, Rango, June, Thomas, Beans, Waffles, Spoons, Doc, Willie, Arrow Bird and Wounded Bird follow the pipes.

Sonic: Whatever you do, do not look down.

Rango looks down.

Rango: Whoa!

Thomas facepalms.

Waffles: What is this place?

June: It's an aquifer.

Waffles: Ah. What's an aquifer?

Waiter: Well, it's for aqua.

Waffles: Well, it's empty now.

Sonic, Rango, June, Thomas, Beans, Waffles, Spoons, Doc, Willie, Arrow Bird and Wounded Bird continued to follow the pipe.

Doc: That's a big one.

Willie: It's the end of the line.

Spoons: Don't go no further.

Waiter: Someone or something is messing with our hydration and that pipe has got something to do with it.

June: I though we're just following Pete and the bank robbers!

Arrow Bird: We're experiencing a paradigm shift.

June: I'm going to shift the features on your face if you don't shut up!

June tackles Arrow Bird

Thomas: June!

Sonic: Everyody, be quiet! You're affecting my concitration.

Sonic is thinking until he gets an idea.

Sonic: Everybody! Put out your torches.

Everybody puts out the fire on the torches. They all see a light.

Waiter: Sure enough.

Spoons: Smart thinking there, feller.

Waffles: Start climbing.

Willie: Gey your foot out of my face!

Sonic: Not bad, huh, Beans?

Beans: I still think you're awful at this.

Sonic: Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just have to think fast.

Sonic zooms up to the top.

Thomas: We should have let Sonic be the sheriff.

Rango: Well, let's follow Sonic.

June: Okay, but first, your hat's on fire.

Rango: Hee. That is so ridi-

June was right. Rango's hat was on fire.

Rango: Hot, hot! Burn.

Sonic and the others got out of the tunnel of the hole and made it to the desert.

Beans: Poor things. All they wanted was a little water.

Willie: Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well.

Waffles: Hey, look what I found!

Waiter: What you got there?

June: I saw it first! (Grabs the canteen)

Arrow Bird: Hey, that's mine!

Thomas: June, put it down!

June opens the canteen and dumps it, but it was just sand.

June: Oh shit! (Throws the canteen away)

Thomas: Sand... There was just sand in it.

Arrow Bird: I knew that.

Sonic: Where did you find that?

Thomas: Sonic! You're going to want to see this!

Sonic and the others followed Thomas and founded Mr. Merrimack laying dead for no reason.

Beans: It's Mr. Merrimack from the bank.

Thomas: What's he doing here?

Rango: Everybody stand back.

Doc: All right, let me see.

Spoons: Looks like them varmints shot him in the back.

Doc: No, this man wasn't shot. He was drowned!

Waiter: Drowned?

Waffles: In the middle of the desert?

Willie: What a way to go.

Sonic walked up to Mr. Merrimack. He closed his eyelids.

June: Hey, whose foot prints are those?

Sonic touches the foot prints.

Sonic: (Whispers to himself) Weird. The ground's still wet.

Beans: I suppose we should bury him.

June: I don't know. Birds gotta eat too.

Waffles: Circle of life!

Waiter: Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing?

Wounded Bird is taking out his feathers.

Rango: I see you're consulting with the spirits.

Wounded Bird: No, I'm molting. Means I'm ready to mate.

Rango: I'll keep that in mind.

Wounded Bird: Cactus fruit.

Rango: Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit. I believe your people use it as seasoning when preparing your native dishes.

Thomas: Actually, it's natural laxative.

Rango spits out the cactus fruit.

Wounded Bird: Ssh. Pick up trail. Four men heading west. One blind, one with enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.

Waffles: What did he say?

Willie: They're riding sidesaddle.

Waiter: What?

Beans: We're whispering.

Spoons: What'd he say?

Arrow Bird: Someone's got a bad valve.

Doc: All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up?

Thomas facepalms himself.

Thomas: Hopeless.

Waffles: Uh.. What exactly are we going to do now?

Rango: Now we ride!

June looks at Rango, confussed.

Rango: That means we're riding now! This moment.

June: Oh right!

Sonic runs to find Pete and his crew while Rango and the others follow Sonic.

That night, Sonic and the others made a campfire.

Waffles: Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy. I could eat them all night long. (His marshmallow starts on fire) Of course he make me cough them back up again for breakfast.

Waiter eats Waffles marshmallow.

Waiter: This one time, I coughed up an enture Dalmatian.

June: That's not that bad. My daddy coughed up a hairball on Grace and it was funny!

Thomas: Cats do that?

June: Some do.

Willie: I remember them. They was quite friendly.

Spoons: I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once.

Everybody, except Spoons, looked at him confussed in silence.

Arrow Bird: You might want to get that looked at.

Doc: Pass the beans, Beans.

Beans: Sheriff?

Rango: No, thanks.

Spoons: Sonic? Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West?

Thomas: (Whispers to June) Does he even know?

June: (Whispers to Thomas) I don't know.

Doc: Yeah, tell us about that.

Waffles: Is it true what they say?

Sonic: Uh... I guess so. The Spirit of the West. They say he rides in an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him. But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest. And have made it to the other side.

June: (Whispers to Thomas) How did he know that?

Thomas: (Whispers to June) I don't know. Roadkill told us a little bit about The Spirit of the West.

Arrow Bird: The other side of what?

Sonic: It's a metaphor.

Thomas: Well, what are we going to do with this Rattlesnake Jake guy?

Rango: What? Where?

Spoons was playing with his spoons.

Spoons: Sorry about that. Word is you come against him once or twice.

Rango: Yeah. Jake. You mean Sonic's fomer best friend.

Sonic: What?

Rango: You see, Jake used to been my brother's best friend.

June: Sonic's your brother?

Rango: That's what I said!

Thomas: (Whispers to himself) Another stupid lie.

Waiter: But he's a hedgehog and you're a lizard.

Rango: Well, Momma had an active social life.

Willie: Did he ever bite you?

Rango: Sure enough did. (Pulls up his shirt) Look at that baby. Go ahead, you can touch it.

Doc: That's interesting. That there's a belly button.

June: That's because that is a belly button.

Rango: Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. Put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang.

Waffles: Is it true he's only scared of them eagles?

Rango: Them's what we call his natural predator.

Everybody hears a wolf howling.

Arrow Bird: All this talk of that serpentine devil is putting my quills on edge!

Waiter: I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir.

Sonic: Don't worry about it. We'll get up tomorrow, locate the water and return it to a hero's welcome.

Spoons: Friends, before we bunk down I'd like us all to join hands for a moment, say a few words to the Spirit of the West.

Everybody joined hands, including Sonic, June and Thomas.

Spoons: Ain't always spoken righty to you, Spirit of the West. But tonight I want to thank you for bringing Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends into our lives. It's a hard life we got. Sometimes I don't know how we're gonna make it. But somehow, Sonic makes me think we will. We needed a brave man and sent us one. Nice to have someone to believe in again. Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen.

All: Amen.

When Spoons prays to The Spirit of the West, Sonic thinks about Nancy. Then Rango realizes that he is in love with Beans. Everybody, except for Rango are asleep. Then he noticed that Beans is still awake. He goes up to her, waves his hat to see if Beans was frozen, but she was not.

Rango: Just checking.

Rango gives Beans his blanket.

Rango: It's a little cold tonight.

Beans: Thank you.

Rango: You ever feel like those things are looking at you?

Beans: That's a Spanish dagger. But around here, we just call them the Walking Cactus.

Rango: Walking?

Beans: There's an old legend they actually walk across the desert to find water. When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late watching them, to see if they'd move. I thought if I could follow them, they'd lead me to someplace wonderful. Someplace with enough water for everyone. Night after night, I watched them. I never saw them move.

Rango: But you're still watching.

Beans: Who doesn't want to find someplace wonderful?

Rango: We'll find the water, Beans. I promise you.

They heard the wolf howling.

Beans: That's such a lonely sound. You ever get lonely?

Rango: Sometimes.

Beans: I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer and everyone likes you so much. I never made friends easy like that.

Rango: No?

Beans: No, we're pretty isolated out there on the ranch, sort of like being sealed up in a little box. Don't really see a lot of folks.

Rango: I wouldn't know what that's like.

Beans: There someone special in your life, Rango?

Rango: There used to be. But she couldn't keep her head. Besides, my life's too dangerous for that kind of thing. You know, it's an awful solitary existence out there on the prairie. Riding the ranges and the suchlike.

Rango found out that Beans was frozen again.

Rango: Beans? Beans?

Nobody was looking. Rango kisses Beans on the cheek and went back to bed. It turns out Beans fake being frozen and smiles noticing that she is in love with Rango. 


End file.
